I have told you before about how I really am not all that fond of running. About how I would rather find many other things to do, including swimming, but that this is the one thing I've been instructed to do to help to stabilize my back. There are no back twists in running that could cause me to be stuck at a funny angle for the rest of my life. There is no arm movement in running that would pull my shoulder and render me unable to lift anything. There is no sudden sidewise dance step in running that would scare my pelvis into rebelling against its carefully established alignment. In other words, other exercise is ok, but running is the thing. So yesterday as I faced the disgusting heat we have been having I decided to change up my route a bit and took a fork in the path after about a mile onto a nature trail.
Something to keep in mind about me -- I don't wear glasses when I run. I'm not blind without them, but I am nearsighted, which makes my vision very limited. So I guess it should come as no surprise that between dodging cobwebs (should have been my first clue), trying to figure out if the dog who was clearly not supposed to be off leash was friend or foe, and realizing I had not eaten in about eight hours, I missed this very clear sign.
It seems I ended up in an old river bed because I suddenly found myself stopped dead surrounded by moss, dead ended by a little lagoon. It was very calm and peaceful until what I'm pretty sure was a snake went into the water by my foot and I bolted back the way I came.
I made it back to the trail and found my way almost back to the path without incident until suddenly an evil root decided that I had grown too confident in myself and determined to put an end to that. It rose up out of the ground in my path and tripped me, causing me to fall hard on my knee before sinking back into the ground with a rumbling chuckle. I tried to resume running but it just hurt too much so I walked instead and called my mother who kept me entertained with tales of home until I could make it the mile or so back to my couch where I could put up my leg and ice it.
I had another long run planned for today, but I don't think I can risk it. Instead I think I will take advantage of this golden opportunity and work on my Camp Loopy project. Tragic, I know.
On Saturday I had one of those days at work that just ends in chaos. I came home cranky and angry and exhausted, feeling like the world must be out to get me (I'm known for a bit of dramatics when I have a bad day). All I wanted was to sit and knit until I could make myself feel better. Maybe even eat an entire tub of ice cream. But as I looked at my knitting basket I thought about how wound up and stressed out I was and about how I would be putting that energy into whatever I decided to knit. So I decided to go for a run and as I ran I tried to focus on all the things I am grateful for, rather than all of the things that drag me down. I totally blame Amy Beth and her Gratitude KAL for this idea and the very lengthy list I came up with.
For example, I am grateful for a job that I love that helps me pay the bills and provides me with insurance. I am also grateful that my husband has a job, so that we cannot only pay the bills, but also go out sometimes or splurge on that extra bottle of wine.
I am grateful that even though it has been freezing cold it was just warm enough to run in shorts and a tshirt and the sun came out just for those few hours I would be outside. I am grateful for the gorgeous trail on which I get to run and the trees that are beginning to trade bare limbs for flowers and flowers for tiny leaves despite the cold weather.
I am grateful for all the people you see outside on a nice evening. For the sweet old dogs who trot on over to say hello and for the little kids who point at my blue hair and their moms who smile and say "Yes, isn't that cool?" I am grateful for the retired couples out for a walk holding hands, who demonstrate that life is still beautiful as you age. And I am grateful for the elementary school kids who are also out running and who tell me how much they like my Avengers tshirt.
I am grateful that my body will allow me to push myself, even when it isn't necessarily happy with me. For the fact that runs get easier, mentally, after the first mile. And for little moments when it seems God put something in my path to help me keep going.
And I am grateful for our craft. That I live in a world in which I can come home, pop a pizza in the oven, and crash onto the couch to watch The West Wing and knit all these good things into a pair of neon socks.
Am I the only one freaked out by how unnaturally warm the weather has been? The calendars (all of them, evidently they conspire together) insist that it is indeed December, when the temperature is so warm I had to turn on the air conditioning in my car, something I try to avoid except for months like July and August. So warm is it that this morning I convinced Chris to get out of bed early and go with me to check out a new-to-us nature park. And we wore shorts!
This park just further confounded my homesickness. We ran and walked in what felt like complete isolation but is in fact in the middle of several expensive neighborhoods. The terrain gave the option for bike paths, but we quickly detoured down steep inclines and vindictive root systems. And then we found a pond! (I'm sure locals around here call it a lake, but I firmly believe that if you can see all sides there is no way it can be a lake)
Even though he got me to move to the city, I am pretty sure I am bringing this city-boy over to the wonders of rural life. Which, I must say are even more wonderful when you can then drive from your apartment to Trader Joe's in under half an hour.
We have already made a date to go back on my day off this weekend. Maybe it will get cold enough for me to wear my running tights? I miss them.
In the meantime I have managed to convince myself to skip yoga tonight and stay home to finish my sleeve and paint my nails. There might even be some Damages in there. Season four did just go up on Netflix after all.
Wow. Has it really been an entire week since my last post? Well, I promise I have a really good excuse. See, I'm getting married in less than two weeks! And I still have so much left to do, including a lot of secret crafting. And since the nature of secret crafting is that it is secret it makes for some really boring blog posts.
As you might imagine, as the wedding draws nearer I become more and more stressed. I'm not sleeping well if at all, I've got the jitters more than you could possibly imagine, and I just can't seem to keep my emotions under control. I really am excited to be getting married and to have many of our close friends and family be with us for the occasion. I am thrilled with how everything is turning out, even if a lot of it is much more last minute than I would hope. But for some reason I end up irrationally upset with no clear cause. It needed to stop, or at least slow down a bit.
Recently I have been reading Mile Markers, Kristin Armstrong's published collection of her blog posts over at Runner's World. In it she talks often about the concept of a "reset run". A run that helps her to transition from mother to woman when her kids leave to spend time with their father. Along with blogging, I stopped running over the past week because I had just too much to do. On Thursday I decided that I'd finally had enough. I skipped my zumba class and waited out a thunderstorm to go on a late evening run.
As I pushed myself to go the rather paltry distance I felt the worry and stress start to slip away. Steep inclines and fast straightaways forced me to take my concentration off of everything and focus on breathing, on pushing myself just a little bit more. And then I started to notice things outside of myself. The route I run follows a creek behind a neighborhood, now swollen because of the rain. The sound of the water had changed as it gushed over rocks rather than sliding around them. Several rabbits came down to join me at various points. Showing no fear and shying away only when I got too close. I met a sweet older gentleman and his doggy friend Meghan, who was so enthusiastic that I stopped for a few scratches behind the ears.
It started raining again as I came back, but I welcomed the moisture, rather than muttering grouchily about wet shoes and potential headphone damage. I was just plain better. My room may still be a chaotic mess of boxes anticipating our new home, my to-do list may be a mile long, and my thank you notes may be woefully neglected. But I came back a better version of myself. I left a week's worth of stress and anxiety out on the pavement and came home raw and sore, open to receiving and enjoying this new experience. It is something worth remembering next time the idea of music selection threatens to cause a nervous breakdown. When the crafting just is not relaxing any more it is time to lace up my shoes and reset myself.
Today is the first day of spring, which of course we are greeting with severe thunderstorms, hail, and "one lightening strike every second." No, seriously, that's what the weather alert said. Why it is currently bright and sunny outside I really don't know. But the days are getting longer which means that I am getting more runs in after work
You think I'm going to show you a picture of me all red and tired from running? Ha! Here's another pretty tree photo.
I am noticing an increase in my endurance which I credit to the zumba classes I have started taking. It is nice to have another workout that does not end with me hunched over crying in pain because I've reactivated my neck strain. I am sleeping better too. Actual sleep! Is this what life is like outside of school?
I hope to have actual knitting updates soon. I am currently stalled out on a lot of my WIPs because they are all deadline knits. Remind me not to take on so many projects next time, eh?
Looking at the calendar it is hard to believe that it's already October. We actually experienced a weather change here last week but it was back up in the 80s again today. Sad as it is, this is what life is like when you live at the beach (evidentially. I've only lived here since May so I don't know yet). October is my favorite month. Not because the leaves change colors (though I'm from a mountainy area and do miss that), and not because it's my birthday month (Saturday. The 10th if you're wondering. I accept cash as well as material goods), but because of that weather change. I've always loved the sudden crispness to the air and the way it burns the back of my throat just a little. I have this old ugly sweater I pull out to wear that I've had since I was, oh I don't know, 8? 9? 10? It's a hand-me-down from some old neighbors so God only knows how long that rust-green and royal blue have been cohabitating.
Knitters, I've discovered, are very fond of this season. It's like a new year of knitting just opens up to us. Here on the east coast and especially in our humidity in the South, it's really hard to knit with heavy or sticky yarns during the warmer months so you end up doing a lot of fingering-weight projects or just taking time off altogether. But when it gets cold suddenly you can knit in wool and heavier yarns that would just cause itchy misery no matter how soft and beautiful (I'm not saying wool is itchy. This humidity could make anything itchy. Even the air gets itchy).
I currently have two beautiful cold-weather projects on the needles but they're gifts so they must remain locked away in my ravelry page until they are finished. BUT, I finally splurged and bought Whimsical Little Knits 2 (only the digital version. I can't afford the print add-on at the moment), so I'm planning on making one of everything very soon. Particularly Ripley and Veyla. And maybe Damson if I find some yarn that just speaks to me. I'm very excited because I recently purchased fourteen sets of bamboo 8 inch double pointed needles. They're gorgeous and only cost me $20 total because I bought them on Ebay!
Because of this I may very soon knit my first pair of socks. I know, it's Socktober so I should of course be knitting socks, but with November looming with all of its giant deadlines (one of my classes doesn't meet again after Thanksgiving) I don't know if I've got the time to teach myself such a skill.
I did finally finish hand-winding all of my Three Irish Girls Adorn sock yarn (I don't reccomend this if you can help it. It got tangled right away and took me FOREVER), but I don't want to make socks with it. I've been thinking for a month or two about a shawl pattern that actually seems to be becoming popular on Ravelry. It's called Traveling Woman and is partly inspired by the character of Angela from Bones. It was written by Liz Abinante from feministy.com. It's a gorgeous pattern written for a single skein so it's be perfect for this gorgeous yarn.
And speaking of yarn, she also has a very unique and awesome collection of yarn over at her Etsy shop. If you look at the sock yarn you'll notice that five colors are from her True Blood collection. I know, awesome, right? They're $23 so it might be a while, but I definately want to try at least one of these to work with while I listen to the audio books (I'm on book 3).
Another thing I've been doing to keep myself from becoming emotionally unstable because of all of this work (I feel like I complain about school alot. I actually love school. It's been better than I could have hoped) is I have started running. I was in a car accident at the end of August and suffered some injury to my neck so I'm not able to do my pilates for a while until it heals. Because of this I have no form of physical activity left to me. I know, it sounds sad. All there is for me to do is run. It's my last resort. And I don't necessarily like it. But it has been good for me and I love the way I feel when I finish. I'm not that good yet. I think I ran a total of 10 minutes today (3.3 songs or so) and walked a comparable amount. Anyway, the point is that I was remembering this passage from Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 and it really describes how Bridget is running again after letting herself wallow in self-pity for a very long time. She runs and starts to feel the freedom of being herself and the burden she's been carrying starts to ever so slowly slip away. That's how I feel. That freedom. I'm not saying I enjoy it. I still hate running. But the freedom is starting to kick in, and that I truly love.
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